Mac attack

•May 21, 2012 • 4 Comments

Finally went to the dark side and bought a Macbook Pro.  Thinking that maybe with a little more firepower, I’d blog more regularly (assuming that accessibility is actually the problem here).  My first entry, a few years ago made mention of the fact that I felt that, for me, blogging was a waste of time since I thought it was pointless.  My blog has no real “purpose” other than some outlet for my crazy thoughts.  But, if I’m gonna do this, I’ll do it irrespective of the purpose, or lack thereof.  I really enjoy the blogs I follow in that there’s a “theme” a point, a purpose.  For example:  chronicalling a college journey; updating exotic travel adventures; journaling through end-stage life issues.  Then, there’s “rambling thoughts of a mad man”.  That’s me.  

At some point, maybe I’ll have a real purpose for blogging, but for now it’s just release.  If you follow my blog are reading today, “Hi, hope you’re having a wonderful Monday.”  And, here’s an amusing (for you) story.  Because for me, it was truly traumatizing and humiliating to the highest degree.

I signed up for my first “One to one” at the Apple store.  I arrived for my appointment, and was greeted by my trainer, a middle-aged woman with a new employee (a bright-eyed twenty-something fellow) shadowing.  We dove in.  I was learning a few new tips and tricks that I hadn’t been using as a lifelong PC user, and having a great time getting my learn on in the stimulating atmosphere of the Apple store:  pretty people with lots of disposable income, shopping for bright, shiny new things.  I was feeling really good about myself, an older dude (not of the advanced technology generation), with a new toy.

Then, good lord it all went south when I opened my browser history near the end of the session.  Sandwiched between that poor, middle-aged nice lady teaching her ass off so professionally, and that innocent looking young guy, there I was with my browser history shamelessly displaying the many porn websites I’d visited (and yeah, bookmarked).  And no, the history titles weren’t at all subtle.  My stomach instantly knotted up, and a wonderful sinking feeling overcame me.  Bless her, she didn’t miss a beat, and homeboy sitting to my left never even flinched.  If you’d put a blow torch to my face I couldn’t have felt any hotter.  

Note to self:  Delete browser history, and edit bookmarked porn site names prior to opening your laptop in public.  I’m not sure I can go back into that particular Apple store for more One to One training (for which I’ve prepaid) with a straight face.  Too bad it’s the closest to my house.  



Ten Things I wish the Church Knew About Homosexuality

•April 17, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Ten Things I wish the Church Knew About Homosexuality.

Checking back in

•February 24, 2011 • 5 Comments

I suppose it’s a genuine lack of time, lack of time management skill to make time, lack of inspiration, dry pen, I don’t know. It’s not for lack of crazy thoughts in my head, lack of strong opinion on the happenings of the day, lack of rage against the machine. Something’s kept me away from this. After a ridiculously long hiatus, here I am.

Today’s crazy thought, which is a recurring theme for me: What if we actually paid attention to driving our cars? Put down our Big Macs? Put down our Starbucks beverages? Put down our effing cell phones? Reckon that would help the flow of traffic here in this God-forsaken wasteland of concrete here in DFW? Let me help you……YES! Yes, it would!

I wish to hell it was socially acceptable to bumper car the idiot next to me holding a cell phone in his face, texting, surfing the web, looking at porn, whatever the hell he/she is making more important that doing what we’re supposed to be doing when sitting in the driver’s seat of a vehicle. I’d do it. I would. Really. Well, OK maybe not. I like my car, and my driving style and habits reflect that.

Bet you our commute would be hassle-free tomorrow if our cell phones were mystically disabled when our asses hit the driver’s seat. Of course, there’s no way to test this out. But you know I’m right. And you know who you are, you text-while-you-drive a-holes.

So, I’m putting it out there to the Universe. Please disable ALL the cell phones of drivers in the DFW metroplex tomorrow. Just for one day. I’m asking nicely. Please don’t make me beg.

Left vs. Right

•June 23, 2010 • 11 Comments

The majority of my writing traditionally has more of a right brain leaning. This posting, however, must call upon more left brain objectivity in order to lend credence to my “argument” and minimize emotionalism. This entry is a definite departure from the usual “fluff” on this blog, and one for which I felt led to devote extra time and effort. The impetus for this entry was my gut reaction to an article I “stumbled” upon this week while reading on another subject. Although quite dated, it still has relevance and disturbed me deeply. The following “argument” will haven no conclusion, certainly not by the end of this posting, and likely not in my lifetime. And, it’s one in which many of you will no doubt have strong feelings. That’s cool, so do I to this day.

I have written much over the years on the subject of homosexuality. Most of my writing has been in the form of journal entries, discussion board posts, letters to friends or family and the like. I’ve never undertaken any formalized study on homosexuality, nor researched it for academic purposes. Rather, I’ve lived it and employed anecdotal experiences to “defend” it. The only study of homosexuality of which I’m aware, using scientific methodology and actual study of the brain structure, was done by Simon LeVay (see the link on #4 on his website). The link I’ve included is not an easy read, but dive in if you’re so inclined. Basically, it indicates that Dr. LeVay observed, using autopsy, consistent structural brain differences between known homosexual men and heterosexual men. This, to me, would indicate at least preliminarily that there may be a “genetic” component to sexual orientation. Clarification:There have been multiple non-empirical offerings on the subject of homosexuality, therefore strictly “conjectural and theoretical” in nature, without benefit of actual brain tissue study.

Getting personal for a moment, let me assure you that my “coming out” experience (as bad as I hate to use that terminology, I think it’s appropriate) was a tortuous, decades long path which included continual and painful introspection and self-reflection, intense prayer, thousands of dollars spent in professional counseling, denial, denial, and more denial. I desperately wanted to be heterosexual. I spent years deeply entrenched in evangelical religion, feeling a deep connection to “God” (I do understand that there may be some readers who do not believe in a deity, or whose ideation of deity may differ greatly from mine, and I respect that. Also please know that my designation of “fundamental believer” carries no judgment or malice whatsoever). At the point which I simply could no longer deny my basic biology, my primary sexual attraction to my own sex, I looked back and realized that the same God with whom I felt such a strong connection all those years, and during all those struggles was still there; had been there all along. There is not a fundamental believer on this planet who will convince me otherwise. I’ve included “their” arguments below.

Biblical references (not an inclusive list) to homosexuality, typically cited by fundamental believers are as follows:
Leviticus 18:22
Matthew 19:4
Romans 1:26
1 Corinthians 6:9

Theology-based discussions, by definition, involve an individual’s particular biases based on “rational and systematic study of religion and its influences, and of the nature of religious truth.” However, unlike scientific study there is an indisputable element of subjectivity to theology, and this is where I find difficulty reconciling my previously solid fundamentally religious beliefs with what I know in my heart to be my personal science (a.k.a. biology). This link demonstrates the subjective nature of the interpretation of whether Jesus “condemned” homosexuality. It’s a lengthy page, but if you’re interested enough to read it you will note the absence of any direct condemnation of homosexuals by Jesus.

One fundamentalist argument presented to me years ago was, “Assuming that some are truly born homosexual (genetic) the only acceptable resolution is a life of celibacy.” So, then what about everyone else, the heterosexuals and their “sins?” Do they just get to keep on producing their own particular brand of “sin” as long as it’s not homosexuality? If we are all bound to sin as long as we’re in this human flesh, why should the homosexual give up his/her basic need of love and intimacy, but keep on sinning in other ways? This argument defies logic. “Every sin, every act of rebellion, leads to condemnation and eternal death.” So if sin is sin, how is it that the “sin” of homosexuality is any worse than the “sin” of one’s judgment or hatred of the homosexual?

Granted, the Iranian law which provides for sanctioned extermination of humans essentially for no other reason than a “specific brain difference” does not exist in the United States. However, the mere fact that it exists anywhere in our modern world deeply saddens and disturbs me.

I would respectfully ask the following of anyone who has taken the time to read this: Whether or not you agree with anything I’ve presented, try your best to give the benefit of doubt to those who differ from you especially in the area of sexual orientation. Consider that there is most likely very detailed and specific, possibly very painful history, of which you may not be aware, which brought that person to the point at which you experience them, and it could never justify hurting them in any way.

disappointment = lessons

•June 8, 2010 • 7 Comments

One of the most meaningful endeavors in my life thus far has been tennis: falling in love with and learning to play tennis in my early teen years; appreciating the sport for its history; meeting interesting people and cultivating lifelong relationships through the sport; teaching children the sport through local recreation summer programs; teaching family members and friends to play, and appreciate the sport; using it as a focus for my lifelong commitment to physical and mental health; and of course watching the grand slam tournaments all year-long; waking up early on weekends to watch the drama unfold, sharing in the hopes and dreams of superior athletes as they compete on some of the world’s grandest and most historic sports stages.

Some folks use Christmas as a time reference, some use birthdays or anniversaries, and any number of other special occasions. For me, the most exciting thing about January is the Australian Open Tennis Championships the first grand slam of the year. This tournament sort of sets the tone for the upcoming tennis year, gets the party started. Next up is my least favorite of the slams, and the impetus for this entry, Roland Garros, also known as the French Open. More on this later. At the end of June is my all-time favorite tournament, Wimbledon a magical two weeks of tennis. Don’t get me wrong, I love the U.S. Open at the end of the summer, especially since one of my all-time favorite players, Andy Roddick hoisted the trophy once upon a time. That was a magical run for Andy, but I digress.

I generally have a better-than-average record for predicting winners in the slams. However, this year’s French Open had me second-guessing all over the place. If you’d told me Robby Ginepri, an American with a #98 world ranking of all things (Americans historically play very poorly on the red clay of Paris) would make it to the fourth round, and be the last American standing…..wrong, you’re nuts. If you’d told me Robin Soderling would knock out the greatest player of all time, Roger Federer….again, you’re being silly. And, if you’d told me that both women playing for the ladies title would be players who have never been to a grand slam final I’d have doubted you mightily. Well, you’d have been right.

What I discovered is that even when my picks don’t make it through to the later rounds, I still enjoy watching the matches. Kind of like indy films where I don’t know any of the actors but the script is solid and the movie quite enjoyable. While I definitely enjoy seeing my favorite players succeed and win, I found that I still enjoyed the great spirit of competition offered in this year’s very unexpected French Open. It’s reassuring and almost comforting to see my favorites win, but sometimes, the unexpected reminds me that tennis truly is a microcosm of “real life” where you can work harder than anyone else, and completely and totally dedicate yourself to the cause, and still come up short. I suppose bitter disappointment is what makes victory all the sweeter.

Having said that, I will be sorely disappointed if one of my favorites of all time, Andy Roddick doesn’t add a Wimbledon victory to his resume this year. And if he doesn’t, well at least we’ve been reminded that somehow, life goes on.

asleep on a plane

•May 28, 2010 • 8 Comments

Initial thought I had when I saw the article tease on Yahoo homepage was, “Hmmm, lemme take a closer look at this.” When I made just the first click, and saw the face of the alleged “victim” and her attorney, my next instinctive reaction (yeah, I know I’m pretty judgmental) was, “ahem….bullshit alert!” So, then I click on the video link, watch, listen, and immediately gag (again, yes, I get that I am judgmental but you gotta trust your instincts, right?).

After I got past the initial gag response, the critical thoughts, but mostly logical questions, immediately began to flood my brain: For starters, was this your first airplane flight honey?;

If you were that serious about waking and making a smooth and timely connection at your destination upon landing, would it not occur to you to set an alarm on your cell phone (ALL cell phone alarms work in airplane safe mode)?;

Are we to believe that every flight attendant simply ignored you when making a final cabin check before deplaning (you will never convince me that you were not gently nudged and/or verbally encouraged to “wake up” at least once)?;

Do you truly believe you were treated unjustly, unfairly, in a maliciously negligent manner, or, most laughably to me, “falsely imprisoned”?

And lastly, do you truly believe, with all that is going on in our world at this very moment that United Airlines, or any judge, or the general public should really give a damn that you don’t possess enough personal responsibility or “adultness” to wake your goofy ass up when your plane has landed? Really?

If the judge whose presented with your case even considers having it heard in his/her court, I will laugh out loud, then probably weep with despair when thinking about what a joke our judicial system has become. After viewing the original yahoo news video, I viewed this analysis video and sort of felt validated in my initial “bullshit” impression. Just for grins, have a look and see what you think:


•May 22, 2010 • 5 Comments

The cut from the knife of betrayal of a friend is the deepest.

As I rounded the corner of my block, the brilliant colors painted across the sky instantly awakened familiar moments of transitions in my life. Life, for me, I truly feel is in transition. I suspect that if I live to be 100 I shall always feel a sense of transition and journey. This life is about evolution. As one chapter completes, the next is seamlessly penned. For some whom I’ve had the honor of knowing, theirs was a short story. Others, a tale describing a rich and epic adventure brilliantly written.

The beauty of this existence is the promise of each new awakening, rich with possibility and hope. If you’re fortunate, you’ll deeply and meaningfully connect with a few others. And for those even fewer fortunate souls, there’s a deep and meaningful connection with oneself.

%d bloggers like this: